Boyfriend Test
Boyfriend Test
Since I don’t think I’ve been attracted to more than 5 men in this freaking country (I’ve been here for 3 weeks!), I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I do want when someone stellar comes along .
I’ve also realized that there are probably 3 men in the entire universe that fit everything I expect.
Now, I’ve always been pretty picky (it’s why I’ve been single for 3 years!), but the more I grow, the more quirky things I expect.
Years ago, I had an Excel spreadsheet that was a potential boyfriend test (feel free to roll your eyes, but my friend made one too - and when she started dating a guy she had rose-tinted glasses with, she gave him her test and realized he failed - miserably).
The traits I used to have were:
Ambitious, Charismatic, Chivalrous, Confident, Educated, Fashion sense, Funny, Good friend to others, Good job, Good listener, Good sexual chemistry, Happy, Has his own interests, Honest, Likes to travel, Not cheap, Not too clingy, Open minded, Positive, Reads, Romantic, Sense of humor, Sentimental, Smart, Spontaneous, Tall, Thoughtful, Well rounded, Will try new things.
Everything had an equal weight, except for ambitious and romantic (they had double weight).
After I went to Warrior Camp, it was an important criteria for me that someone went there too. I think I could let that go now, provided someone pushes themselves out of their comfort zone and has read books from authors like David Deida (one of the most special parts of Warrior Camp was when we did a thought-provoking exercise on the differences between men and women - very similar to Deida’s “Way Of The Superior Man”).
Today, I’d probably switch around a bunch of the “qualifiers” I had before - take some out, add some in. I’m thinking my list would look something like this, in alphabetic order:
Ambitious (not as important as it once was as long as he constantly pushes himself out of his comfort zone)
Blue eyes (ok, ok, that’s just a wishlist item - but usually not attracted to dark hair, dark eyes, hence this Brazilian tragedy :))
Cares about others
Charismatic
Confident
Cuddler (Grade A only)
Educated (not necessarily by college, but homeboy has to love to learn!)
Exercises
Funny
Good friend
Good listener
Has his own interests (that he acts on frequently!)
Healthy (Raw foodist preferred since I’ll at least be 80% for the rest of my life, I think)
Honest
Intelligent
Loves surprises
Loves to travel (Love, not like)
No “job” (At this point, there’d be a big disconnect between me and anyone who needs to clock in and out or be at work specific hours)
Not cheap (I hate when people let money hinder them. Need more, make more.)
Open minded
Positive
Pushes me (My friend Jose, who I consider to be one of my greatest personal heroes, never let me get away with anything - and I loved him for it.)
Romantic (Non-negotiable)
Sense Of Humor
Sentimental
Sensitive
Spiritual (Another non-negotiable.)
Spontaneous
Tall
Thoughtful
Well-rounded
I don’t know if I could deal with 80% any more, though - I’m just going to hold on to the fact that someone out there meets 100%. 
If you know him, feel free to make an introduction. =)
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12 comments
Eric on November 1, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Hey, I tick almost all the boxes! Even got the blue eyes. And even better - I’m in Brazil right now…
But, um, I’m married. So that kind of puts me out of the picture.
Good luck!
[Reply To This Comment]
Erich on November 1, 2008 at 11:53 pm
I enjoyed your post and the older I get (over 30) I realize how important the traits I am looking for in mate also impact what I think of others. What I have found myself doing when meeting new people is I compare them to my list and from this determines if I like them or not.
The other thing I realized is my list of traits I have for my mate are also the same qualities I am trying to improve or want to see myself become.
I strongly suggest whatever list you make ask a trusted friend or if you want take the time and grade yourself. I think you will be very surprised at what you find out and what you learn.
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admin on November 2, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Eric, you´re killing me!! What part of Brazil are you in? If Rio, let´s hang out!!! (Your wife, too. =))
Erich, that´s a fabulous idea. I think I will ask my two best friends to look at the test and see what they think. When I was making it, I had qualities that I thought I exuded in the list, but that could be pure ego. Do you have an actual list, or are the traits imprinted in your head?
Either way, thanks for the idea =)
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Luv on November 6, 2008 at 6:14 pm
What do YOU have to offer?
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Gregg on November 7, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Wow. That’s me. Too bad for you we’re just friends, huh? It’s a great list Rachel. I’m pretty confident you’ll eventually find someone that fits it pretty well.
Gregg
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Dyane on November 9, 2008 at 8:59 am
Yes, WoW too and interesting.
But I think the criteria is too high, sometime the criteria just get zero when you meet the person that’s belong to you :d
But good luck, at least it makes a small competition, aahh..competition.. :d
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Myself on November 10, 2008 at 12:21 am
How could someone with no job make more money? this list seems absurd and unattainable. I think you are beyond a qualities list and gone into the worl of make believe.
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cathy largeton on November 12, 2008 at 7:08 am
Who do you need to be to have the relationship you want?
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Ari on November 18, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I’m a little late here but I felt I had to add this comment. Next time you come to Brazil don’t stick to visiting Rio or Sao Paulo, go southbound to Santa Catarina state where you will find thousands of handsome blond haired, blue-eyed guys…and beautiful beaches you can go for a swim because they are not polluted…plus a very friendly people and a lot less violence.
As for the list, Rachel, I sincerely think you should settle for having at least two boyfriends ’cause you’ll hardly find all these traits in one single person.
Take care.
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Mike on November 25, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Wow, what an interesting list. You know, you’ve basically described *most* Aquarians (to varying degrees), at least in the personality arena.
The most unfortunate part is that for whatever reason the ‘gods’ decided that we generally don’t have much “chemistry” with those who were most compatible and fit all the things we want. Chemistry is about tension. Not saying you can’t have it, just saying.
I like Cathy’s remark. It’s really not about “finding” (or discovering) that ‘ideal’ person… it’s about attracting them to you. We only get what’s in our thoughts.
Be save and travel well!
…it doesn’t .gz
(Note the love.exe attachment
Mike
Phoenix
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Gunther on December 29, 2008 at 11:20 pm
You should always stay away from non-quality people. I actually have a list of 78 qualifications a woman must meet for me to even have lunch with her (time is money, after all). Sometimes I will go over these items with them during a phone call (I keep the list on a clipboard hanging on a hook by my desk). Every woman I consider is told up front about the list, and we go over each item point by point. A good number of women get upset and say something like, “that sort of thing is like treating women like cattle.” But like Rachel, it is my option to be very picky about who has the privilege of spending any of my time with me. Not everyone qualifies. There is no time for ordinary people when you live an extraordinary life.
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Gary Huynh on January 6, 2009 at 9:44 pm
I used to have a mental checklist of the type of girl that I like but then I met my current girlfriend who does not fit the list at all. However we’re crazy about each other. Its all about the chemistry. Love works in odd ways. Don’t ever discount anyone out without getting to know them.
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