Disclaimer up front: Because I now have almost 100 providers depending on me for work with Burn Your To Do List, it crossed my mind for a few seconds that maybe I shouldn’t post such opinionated stuff on my blog.

Like I said, the thought only lasted a few seconds. I’m not going to silence myself on things I feel strongly about – that’s just foolish. If, at the end of this post, you are a client or potential client and strongly oppose my thoughts, then feel free to either cancel service or not sign up. To put it bluntly: don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

I definitely want to make sure my providers have work, and I actively work on that, but I also don’t want them to deal with bigots.

They tend to make for crap clients anyway.

(Definition of bigot: a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.)

With that out of the way…

A big part of me is really excited to get married and have children. I really think I’d be a great mother, and it’s so easy to get lost in ideas on how I want to raise my children. I can’t wait to take them around the world so that they can actually SEE and EXPERIENCE in person what so many politically agenda’d textbooks teach them. I’m excited to help my future children stay heart-centered, empathetic, and understanding.

(Side note: I LOVE Mark Twain’s quote: “Travel is fatal to prejudice.”)

Up until recently it was easy to get lost in thoughts about marriage too. Jaime and I long fantasized about having a double-wedding, which would be so fun. I’ve also thought about doing fun things at my wedding – having cotton candy machines, maybe having a little carnival… just non-stuffy, fun stuff.

(I do realize this entire blog post is premature as I don’t even have a boyfriend right now – but based on a bunch of factors, I’m very confident I could get married pretty soon if I really wanted to. That’s not to sound arrogant – like I said, I base that on conversations, experiences, and other factors.)

So like I said, I had been excited about marriage… until recently. I’m not so sure I want to get married any more. I’m happy to accept a proposal, commit to someone, etc… but I don’t really think, in good conscience, that I can get married.

I recently saw an interview with Sarah Silverman on same-sex marriages that really challenged my thinking. In the interview, she said that a straight couple getting married in our current state of affairs is like being part of an exclusive country club where blacks and Jews aren’t allowed. I’ve got to say, I totally agree with her.

I think the fact that same sex marriages are STILL outlawed is truly vile. It’s just… archaic. How, in this day and age, can so many people (in fact the MAJORITY of people, if voting statistics are not politically manipulated) perpetuate themselves to be better than others? How can we, as a country, say that some people deserve to be married and others don’t? That one type of person is more “right” at existence than another? It’s absolutely disgusting.

Outlawing same sex marriage is judging other people and saying “We’re better than you.” It doesn’t matter what the rationale is – religious beliefs, upbringing, bad experiences, whatever… at the end of the day, being homophobic or not tolerant of other people is not having an empathetic and open-hearted view of your fellow human being.

There are many people that I really love in this world that are gay. I think I would feel crappy and guilty about perpetuating such shit rules if I were to get married. I can only imagine the hurt/sadness/shame/guilt that so many gay people probably feel when people get married. I bet for many, it stings every time they hear about marriage – even if it’s unconscious.

Thinking about this makes me think about a whole bunch of different things, too:

First off, why do I want to get married, anyway? Is it based on a scarcity mindset? Do I feel like I need someone to commit to me in order to feel truly loved? And if that’s the case, why would that be?

If I say I believe the world is abundant enough that I could attract several stellar people to marry if I wanted to, then it shouldn’t matter if one guy I love wants to commit to me or not. I could find someone else.

Then I think, is it because of tradition? Look how far tradition has gotten us – filling our gullets with crap food, Americans watching an average of 28 hours of TV per week, blindly following what the media says, etc…

Of course there are fantastic traditions too – ones I really adore, like the whole “Christmas spirit” where everyone in the world seems so happy… so it’s not to say all traditions are negative… but my point is, I want to evaluate things on an individual basis and not just welcome anything that comes into my life because it’s just what people “do”.

When I think about gay marriage, I also think about something my friend made a point about once.

(Note to friend: I’m pretty sure you didn’t want your name attached to this – if I’m wrong or you’ve changed your mind, I’m happy to give you credit.)

He mentioned that he doesn’t like to support those marathons for cancer because from a universal standpoint, focusing on cancer can only bring about more of it. (I personally think it’s a moot point since it has been proven time and time again that a healthful diet can fix a slew of health problems, including cancer).

I digress though. By focusing on the idiocy of outlawing gay marriage – even for a short while – I wonder what, if any, universal implications there are.

I really dislike what has become identified with the phrase “Law of Attraction”, but I absolutely believe that each individual, as well as everyone in a collective consciousness, shape our destinies. I know we bring into our lives what we focus on.

On the same note though, blindly accepting this injustice seems stupid too. If we followed that mindset, there would still be slavery.

I’m not sure on that point, but welcome any thoughts/comments.

The one thing I’m positive of is that at the end of the day, people just want to be loved. To tell some people they’re not as worthy of that is appalling, idiotic, stupid, intolerant, unfair, and ridiculous.

I need to get back into work, so I’ll end here… maybe edit and add more later… but those are my thoughts for the time being.

The more I grow, the more I really understand that there is no “right” or “wrong” (outside of obvious things like murder, stealing, etc).

Not only do I feel like there’s no right or wrong, but I feel it’s WEAK to use those labels. I think it’s more about your own personal journey versus anything else.

Take making money for example. Most of my friends are really great at ASKING for money. They have no problem telling people how much they think they’re worth, what they feel they deserve, etc… and it works out very well for them. I, on the other hand, have never been that great at it. Good things (including money) always seem to just float my way.

Many of my friends have mentioned to me that I should have more confidence, I should speak up more, assert my value… and I agreed with them for a long time, thinking something was wrong with me that I needed to “fix”.

Then, I realized that’s just stupid.

Insert adage here: “If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it.”

Alcohol is another example. I have a friend that parties a lot. She loves it. Some of my other friends have made negative comments about it, as if she’s doing something “wrong”.

Maybe it’s “wrong” for THEM, but this particular friend happens to be in amazing flow when she drinks. She handles her alcohol extremely well (so if you were thinking this “friend” was actually me, that part disproves it ), is more intuitive than usual when drinking, and can get her work done better than ever.

The vegan lifestyle is another thing. Some people NEED MEAT. NEED it. I remember reading one story about a devout raw foodist who helped hundreds of people cure tons and tons of diseases by eating all raw. Throughout the process, his wife got very sick. He went to cure her with raw food, and it wasn’t working. For YEARS he tried, and she was getting worse and worse, with very little predicted time left to live. People kept telling him to give her meat but he didn’t want to. The thought disgusted him. However, he eventually gave in when it was literally “do or die” – AND IT WORKED. The wife ended up getting better.

I don’t think ALL people need meat, not at all. I think everybody’s body is different. But I think renouncing people who eat meat, judging them, etc… is a sign of weakness and laziness.

(And for the record, I’m not referring to super-huge amounts of it.)

Sure, it would be easier to make general labels – such as “Drinking excessively is wrong” – because label making helps tidy things up. It helps give us a nice, clean view of the world so that no extra thinking is necessary.

It helps so that we don’t need to go through the work of journeying ourselves and figuring out what’s right or wrong for us.

I think that’s why everyone thinks they’re better than everyone else, too. It makes things easier.

Internet Marketers think they’re luckier/smarter/more willing to “think out of the box” than 9-5 folk because they don’t work for the man. Many of us try to “help” people we know in jobs.

Vegetarians think they’re healthier/more compassionate than non-vegetarians.

Some religions go so far as to say all non-believers are “sinners”.

Schools have rivalries, each thinking they’re the better one. It goes on, and on, and on… when the end reality is that different people have different truths, and nobody is “right” or “wrong”.

Obviously this post encompasses things I’ve done/said in the past and things I will probably do again, but I’m going to continue to do my best to remember when I come up in situations where I try to judge “right” or “wrong”, “bad” or “good”.

Things have been really busy on my end. I should be posting more…

But thank you to everybody who left comments. I do read them and really appreciate them.

So… the last time I posted was back in May. Since then, lots of stuff has happened.

First, I launched a site called 5PositiveThings. It’s looking a little sparse now as we had to delete all the old posts in our upgrade, but I’m psyched about it and how many it has the potential to benefit.

Second, Otto and I were supposed to move to a place in La Jolla on August 1st. I wasn’t 100% on San Diego but LOVED the apartment. Anyway, the owner asked if we could hold out a week, so we got an extension on our current place. Yesterday (the 28th), after I called her, she decided she needed another month.

After driving around for a bit, we still couldn’t find anywhere we really loved…

And then this morning, we mutually decided that this was one sign on top of a few that we should probably just end our relationship and stay good friends. We both have a deep love for each other and a deep respect, but we’re not “in love”.

We’re both eerily calm about this, and will continue to do our offline business stuff together.

I’m back at the drawing board now – can grab a place here in San Diego, move in with Jaime for a month, move to Miami with Brian for a while, or get a place with Joanna (I’ve only talked to 3 people so far and all 3 had incredible options for me ).

I’m thinking about staying in SoCal just so Otto has a support system too… but have also thought about Australia, Hawaii, and NYC. I’ll probably take the next month to think.

In other news, after going back and forth about being in the Internet Marketing industry, I’ve decided that I *AM* okay with it… as long as I’m promoting things I really believe in and nothing too hype-y sounding. I started re-building my list and things have been awesome so far.

I guess I’ll end here for now… am sure there’s more to talk about, but I’m happy to just make a post and update the site a bit!!

Don’t forget to post at 5PositiveThings , and thanks for reading.

HOLY CRAP!

I went to start this post out one way, but now that I’m really thinking about it, I’m going to take it to a completely different direction.

Here’s how I started it out before:

“One thing I’ve heard a lot of people say is that you’re the average of your 5 closest friends – income wise, personalitywise, etc…

I’ve always been pretty cognizant of that because it’s always run pretty true to me.”

I was going to reflect and think about what I wanted my 5 to look like now as I grow – do I still want to surround myself with marketers, or do I want to go with people who are more into “spirituality” (for lack of a better word), or do I want to find healthy people, do I want to find people who encompass all three…

Then I was going to talk about “health” and what that meant…

But then I went through and looked at my 5 thoroughly, and now I’m sitting here shaking my head.

The averages aren’t looking so stellar for me.

The things that are important to me:

Successful businesswise – 1 is doing a lot better than me, 3 are doing the same as me, 1 is doing less than me.

Spiritual (this is a super-broad term… let’s just classify it as people who would really enjoy a Sonia Choquette book) – I’d say 1 would find it and enjoy it, 1 might find the book on their own and enjoy it if they were in the mood, 1 would have to be talked into it but would get value from it, and the other 2 would read it out of curiosity (if I told them to) and probably dismiss it.

Healthy – 1 out of 5 is very into his health. 1 is somewhat moderately into it, the other 3 I would consider conscious but not actively healthy (2 go into spurts).

Strong relationships with significant others – I’d like to say my boyfriend – but it probably hasn’t been long enough to say that. The others either don’t have relationships or I don’t consider them strong.

Strong relationships with other people – All 5 are great people who make solid relationships.

I think part of this is because I’ve been traveling so much. When I stayed in L.A., I went to Toastmaster’s and found successful, awesome people… I went to meetup groups, etc…

But with all this traveling, I’ve been focused more on exploring than making new relationships.

I think my 5 may have been more solid before – maybe a few months ago when I actively worked on it and my income, health, and spiritual goals were different…

But I definitely need to re-evaluate, pronto.

This was a wake-up call for sure.

What about you? What’s important to you? How does your top 5 fit in with that?

I’m thinking about taking my copywriting price per letter DOWN from $5k per letter to five letters a month at $997 or $1997 per letter.

I have a few reasons for this:

1. It only takes me 4-5 hours to write a 13+ page letter (and I get damn good conversions if I do say so myself. ).

2. I’m cutting out all Internet Marketing letters. They don’t feel right to me. I’m completely set in this position, but I know it’ll dwindle my customer base.

3. I really don’t NEED to do copy… but I recently realized I love it. I love the psychology behind it, I love learning about new things, and I love getting into forums and really digging deep into people’s thoughts. Making the price more affordable allows me to write for more people.

(And I know I could make my own products, but I already have 30 or so spread out in different niches and if I’m going to seriously work on traffic gen, marketing, etc… I’d rather it be on yayFOOD.

And honestly, business development has gotten boring for me. It’s weird but I have no doubt I could easily run a multi-million dollar business if I cared enough… but I don’t.)

I guess I’m just not sure for a few reasons:

1. I wonder if the lower price makes me seem like a less stellar copywriter?

2. People in my masterminds have said that I’d be devaluing myself if I were to slash my prices when my conversion rates could/should justify even more?

I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts!

It’s been a while since I made a video post.

Not sure why my arms look obese, but here you have it:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNT-z_nZP6Q&]

I was just going over my goals again, and realized I knocked out a lot of the things I wanted to achieve by September 25 – my 26th birthday.

(Lots of amazing Internet Marketers with my birthday actually – Gregg Gillies,  Bill Glazer, Feldo Nartapura (He isn’t known yet, but he will be! Met him at my Toastmaster’s, he asked me for a few tips, and he’s going full-speed-ahead! VERY impressive!), Yanik Silver, and Chris Vendilli.

And when I was at Laguna Beach last year on that random trip… that entrepreneur dude had my birthday, too.)Anyway, I digress – the goals – I’m ECSTATIC that they’re coming to fruition. I’m also really looking forward to everything else I’m going to make happen this year (not by my birthday, but this year):

I’ve decided (after 2.5 years!) that I’m finally ready for a serious relationship. I’m actually really looking forward to it. I’m also looking forward to doing a lot of huge things with my favorite charity – more on that soon. =)

My book is going to be a NY Times bestseller this year… I’ll be getting my NLP practitioner’s license (not for mind control – just because I think psychology is fascinating)…  and I can’t wait to just travel, travel, travel.Materially, I want an Aston Martin made into a convertible, a “green” mansion in California – something like this one (this is the only “dream house” I’ve found, and I’ve looked a LOT), and an American Express Centurion card.

Hrmm… I think when I get home, I’m going to type up all my goals for my blog. Seems like the right thing to do. =)

I LOVE my new layout.

Before I get started, I’d like to once again reiterate that I really do love Los Angeles. The area that I live in (right near Santa Monica and Venice) is amazing, and in my opinion, the best part of the city by far.

But this is something that I’ve been thinking about for a while, have talked with some people about… and still can’t get over.

—

When I moved to L.A., my friends and family warned me not to “turn California” – meaning, not to become image obsessed, superficial, etc… and I rolled my eyes. I mean, how can an entire state be that way?

But I’ve got to say… what they said about “California” is ridiculously true of Los Angeles.

It’s fascinating.

You can get any cosmetic procedure you’d ever want here. I was getting a pedicure, and one of my toenails was broken. The lady offered to put in a fake toenail while it grew back.

You could also get fake eyelashes glued on for $200 plus $50/month maintenance… Mommy Makeovers” where you get a tummy tuck, breast lift, etc… butt lifts… I think half of the women here have hair extensions…

It’s neverending.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Some of this stuff’s cool. A friend got the eyelashes done and they look awesome. When my “blow account” (10% of my monthly income that I blow on random crap every month) gets big enough, maybe I’ll do some of it. It’s fun to play dress up.

But DUDE. I just can’t get over how image-conscious people are as a way of life.

Interesting story:

I went to a seminar for a few hours last weekend (great time!), and I ran into a guy I had met at Idea Incubator. He asked me if I had been working for someone, and I told him no… but that a lot of the marketers there thought that Jaime and I were Playboy Bunnies (we told them we met at the Playboy mansion, so they assumed…)

So anyway, he says to me… “Honey, I know better. If we were in Iowa, you’d be an 11… but this is L.A.”

Then he starts to tell me about how sister was just serving in Iraq, and how a lot of the guys there liked her because there weren’t a lot of females there. When she got to L.A., she expected a lot of the same attention. He proceeded to tell me that his sister isn’t even that beautiful, and she’s crazy if she expects that kind of (or any) attention in Los Angeles.

…And you know, that’s how it is. While I hate that anyone would talk that way about their family, the fact of the matter is – that’s how most people here think.

I think that’s where the whole “flake” thing stems from, too. It’s very easy to become captivated by the next shiny thing that passes by.

And again – this isn’t to complain, be upset, whatever. I truly don’t even get offended anymore. It’s a way of life. When someone tells me that they’re going to call me, I believe it when I see it. It’s not even that I’m bitter, it’s just something I’ve come to accept.

When that dude told me I’d be an 11 in Iowa… I wasn’t offended. I don’t even WANT to be one of those “drop-dead gorgeous” girls. It’s too much work. I met a porn star here on Wednesday, and she told me she wasn’t eating for 3 days because she had a shoot on Friday.

She was 100% serious.

And I have friends that are super-image-conscious… it’s just a lot more effort than it’s worth, in my opinion. I prefer to surround myself with people that want bigger things. People with an insatiable curiosity for life. People who want to learn. People who want to help people. So I take a positive spin on the whole image-crazy thing and appreciate it, because it’s a good way to weed people out.

But it doesn’t mean the whole thing won’t continue boggling my mind.

###

I’m going out to Laguna Beach tonight to hang out with the guys I met on my road trip back in August (You can view the blow post here – probably my favorite night from the trip. )

Should be fun, I’m excited to play with the elevator again.

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Toastmaster’s has been AMAZING. The first time I had to get up and give a speech, I was freaking out. Last time was a lot easier… and I only expect it to get better and better.

And man… it’s SO liberating to not worry about having to stand up in front of a group of people and speak. Not only is it good for communication and leadership, the confidence benefits are huge.

###

There’s a lot more going on, but I didn’t expect to type so much out about Los Angeles. And I didn’t even make a dent in my observations. But oh well – back to sales letter tweaking.

Oh, and here are some odds and ends pictures from the Master’s Seminar:

Brian McElroy, me, Jason Moffatt

Jaime and Chad

Brian and Me

Chris Brisson is amazing.