A few days ago someone asked me, “What are your all time Top 10 (or more) favourite books for life and business? I have heard or read you mention the odd one here and there but thought a list would be so great. Probably doesn’t warrant a vlog but would be a really interesting and wonderful blog post?”

I set out to make a list and realized it’s MUCH harder than I thought it would be.

That’s because some books had a HUGE influence on me at one point in my life… but would no longer be that useful. At the time though, I really needed them for my evolution!

So with that said, here’s a list of lifelong list of the most influential books for me… and why:

Business

Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind – This book led me to go to a Millionaire Mind Intensive, which led me to Warrior Camp. Warrior Camp was amongst one of the top 2 or 3 life experiences I’ve ever had. The book also helped start me on my journey to spirituality.

Influence – Everyone cites this book, I know, but it is a marketer’s DREAM. It tells you all the emotional points on how people act the way that they do. It’s amazing.

Predictably Irrational – This book gives more amazing insight into why people act the way they do with absolutely brilliant examples.

4 Hour Workweek – This is the only book that I’ve ever finished reading and then opened right back up to read again (even with my waiting list of books to read). It’s UNBELIEVABLY AMAZING and totally transformed my life.  I’ve gotten to live the 4HWW lifestyle for so long thanks to the principles I got here.

Psycho Cybernetics – Awesome book about the power of visualization. The regular book is beyond boring to read but the audiobook is actually REALLY good.

Anything by Dan Kennedy – He is BRILLIANT. The first book I read of his was “The Ultimate Sales Letter” but I really glean out so much from everything he writes.

Rhinoceros Success – Philip Cordova sent this book to me a while ago. He said it’s his #1 business book and really helps motivate him. For a while I had index cards with the “Rhinoceros” sayings around my bed. It was very motivational and brilliant in its simplicity.

Crush It – This book is SO MOTIVATIONAL and really gives an awesome step-by-step plan outline on how to prosper with your passions online.

Inspiration/Personal Development/Spirituality

Three Cups Of Tea – The story in this is not only amazing to hear, but it inspired me to be a better person. It’s the reason I am so passionate about building a school and why I’m working with someone now to deliver backpacks to underprivileged children in Brazil.

Mother Teresa Autobiography – I lent my book out and haven’t gotten it back, and Ican’t remember the title. All I know is reading the biography I read (there are a few) was so impactful and life-changing for me. It was so amazing to see how Mother Teresa got so much done with just sheer willpower and faith. She inspired me beyond words.

Attractor Factor – This is a book that seems so elementary spiritual-wise, but it really helped me. I don’t know what it is about the book, but good things seem to happen whenever I read it. In my opinion Joe Vitale doesn’t always come across the best online… but his books are REALLY good. Hypnotic Writing is also a phenomenal book of his.

The Big Leap – This is a GREAT book on getting out of your self imposed limitations and really shining your greatest gifts to the world.

Trust Your Vibes (or any book by Sonia Choquette) – When I first got into the whole world of spirituality I read Sonia’s books nonstop. They helped me out a lot.

Celestine Prophecy – This is a book I don’t know if I’d vibe with now, but at the time it was really huge for me. I found it randomly, in an all-Portuguese bookstore when I was living in Brazil, and it seemed to pop out at me.

Conversations With God – My mentor at the time recommended this book to me and it was so nourishing for me. I often think about things I read in there.

The Shack – This is actually a more religious book (I am NOT religious), but at the time, I really needed the message. I haven’t read it in years but still think about it fondly.

Like The Flowing River – After reading Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, I was in love with him. This book just makes me love him more and more. He writes so beautifully, he is so eloquent, and the stories that he shares are like food for my soul. I absolutely LOVE this book and refer to it often.

The Psychology Of Self Esteem – This is a GREAT book that has been really helping me boost up my self esteem.

Relationships

Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes? – I LOVED this book. It read almost like a “Cosmo”, and I think it’s underrated because of that, but I learned so much about male psychology from it.

Using The Power Of Pleasure To Have Your Way With The World – Jena LaFlamme sent this book to me and I absolutely love it. It’s so great in coming to terms with my greatest desires, and being such a better woman because of it.

Keys To The Kingdom – I learned SO MUCH about men and how to relate to men because of this book. It seriously changed my relationships in a very profound way.

How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You – I got brilliant psychological insights from this book.

Wisdom Of Your Face – People underestimate face reading, but it’s really quite remarkable how much you can tell from what someone looks like. Just by looking at someone, you can change how you convey your message to make sure it gets delivered. The author of this book started using face reading to be able to better communicate with her clients but the uses for this run rampant. I’m going to a face reading workshop of Jean’s later this month and cannot wait!

Health

Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think – This had really fascinating insights into why we eat the way we do and how we can stop acting out of subconscious autopilot so often. The stories and case studies in here were REALLY thought provoking.

12 Steps To Raw Foods – This book is REALLY simple, but it helped me a lot. It helped me understand why raw food is so important and exactly how much wisdom there is in our bodies.

Prakriti – I’m learning a ton about ayurveda through this book. The messages in here are super-interesting and I love that it does NOT offer a “one size fits all” approach to health.

The Hidden Messages In Water – I learned so much about how water is affected by different things here. The book shows how water molecules actually change when exposed to negative words, different types of music, etc… it’s SO fascinating and totally scientifically backed.

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Wow… making this list was really interesting. There are SO MANY more books I could add!!! I have a feeling I might be forgetting some of my favorites, too, and will have to come back and edit when I think of them.

It’s also really interesting that two of the authors here (Neale Donald Walsch and Victoria Boutenko) live in Ashland, where I live. I should go see them before we move.

About a month ago I went to an awesome seminar by Eben Pagan and Wyatt Woodsmall. It was all about Personality Patterns, and I learned a TON – both about myself and how to relate with people.

One of the things we learned was the “Enneagram”.

This is a personality system that was actually started in Bolivia as a spiritual practice. The guy who created it said that we all have certain energy fixations in our body, and knowing what they are can help us move them.

Some psychotherapists got a hold of his teachings and started mass-marketing it to everyone.

The reason I really like this is because it’s so thorough. The Enneagram states that whenever you get in a relationship with someone, you’re really getting in a relationship with 3 people. It talks about how people act differently under normal situations and then under intimacy and stress.

The reason the Enneagram is so powerful is because once you know your patterns, you can change them. Thing is, our subconscious dictates about 95% of what we do every single day. We just automatically make comments, say things, etc… without even thinking about it.

When you’re aware of what your subconscious is doing, you can observe it (without shame) and then double-think if that’s how you really want to respond.

The ultimate goal of the Enneagram is to break free of all the fixations (NOT to move to another fixation) and choose your reactions in each moment – not subconsciously.

I got approval from Wyatt to post all my notes here, so I’m going to give a brief description of each one and then you can read further to see which one resonates with you.

Tip: If you’re feeling unsure, look at how each type acts under Stress and Intimacy and that will usually tell you which one you are.

Tip 2: Wyatt says if you don’t like one, it’s probably yours – though that wasn’t the case with me.

I should warn you that they gave mostly the NEGATIVE aspects of all of these, but obviously nothing is all good or bad.

Anyway, here are the types:

Type 1: The Perfectionists – These are people that want everything to be perfect. They often speak in terms of, “You should do this” or “You should do that”. They’re often very angry, but because it’s not perfect to be angry, they stuff their anger. You can read more here.

Type 2: The Nurturers – These are your typical Jewish mothers. They give, give, give, all the time. They think of themselves as the “ideal person”, but deep underneath they’re doing everything for love. They need almost constant words of affirmation. You can read more here.

Type 3: The Workaholics – These people have the most energy from any other group and are always go, go, go. They often want everyone to think of them as amazing and put up a mask to protect themselves from being vulnerable. You can read more here.

Type 4: The Melancholies – These are people who wear a lot of black, are usually highly psychic, and have an underlying depression about them often. They see the world as one way in their heads and get depressed that the world is actually NOT like that. You can read more here.

Type 5: The Over-Observers – These are people who like to sit back and watch but don’t like to participate. They’re often brilliant people and can tell you anything you want about the mechanics of a situation – they just won’t because they’re not super-social. You can read more here.

Type 6: The Paranoid’s – These are people who want security, security, security. They’re the type of people who want the best water filtration systems, get freaked out if a car is too close to them, and are the perfect Boy Scouts. They were either in trouble with the law at one point and did a complete reversal, or they’ve always been that way. They also love adventure. You can read more here.

Type 7: The Idealists – These are people who only want to see the good in life and refuse to acknowledge anything negative. They believe life is good, people are good, and everything’s just… good. They’re often very gluttonous. They’re also usually the life of the party and great at entertaining (although if they’re introverts that might not be as obvious). You can read more here.

Type 8: The Justice Makers – These are people who are vigilant about making sure there’s justice for all. They often go VERY far with their beliefs and are the types of people who want pain amplifiers for people in jail. They often have a very “tough” look to them. You can read more here.

Type 9: The Indolents – These are people who see all sides to every situation. Because they see all sides, they often do nothing (think of a donkey standing in between 2 bales of hay and not knowing which one to go to, so he goes nowhere). They’re perceived as lazy, are often monotone, and ramble a lot. You can read more here.

Any guesses on what I am? I think lots of people are gonna pick the wrong one.

Hope you get a ton out of this!

WARNING: If you did not yet do this exercise, please do it NOW.

If you read this post before doing the exercise, you’ll lose all benefit of it. It only takes 5 minutes and can give you tremendous insight – so please go do it NOW!

Keep reading ONLY IF YOU’VE DONE THE EXERCISE…

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Okay, so as I mentioned, Eben mentioned that Joe Polish taught him this exercise, and it’s supposed to reveal your life purpose.

The top 3 things are things you need to accept and develop, and the bottom 3 are your shadows – things that exist in yourself but you don’t yet want to recognize.

If you write “liar” for example, remember that it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lying to others (though that could be true) – it could also mean you lie to yourself.

Here Were My Results:

The 3 people I admired were:

Mother Teresa – unwavering faith, dedication to goal

Albert Einstein – open-mindedness and intelligence

Piperlyne (my mentor) – not accepting fear, being OK in the face of anything

I thought and thought and could only come up with 2 people I didn’t like:

A popular “guru” that I’ll leave nameless – scammy, willing to do anything for money, doesn’t care about people

A copywriting client I once worked with  – unnecessarily aggressive, liar

After I Saw My “Shadows”, I Had To Do A Double Take.

I thought, “I care about people! How could that make sense?”

Then it hit me. Hard.

I’ve been telling people I want to get out of internet marketing for years now. Being totally transparent, the whole “make-money” market kind of disgusts me most of the time.

My pattern has been that I’ll want to get out, think of a new idea that can make a good amount of money and “help people”, and convince myself that if I’m helping people, it’s OK.

Don’t get me wrong here – I believe in the products I put out, knew they worked, etc… but still – those products are NOT my greatest gift to the world. At all.

After doing the exercise I realized that putting out 99% of my make-money products is not coming from my heart. A factor is helping people, yes, but there’s also the factor of wanting instant money without having to do that much work. It’s amazing how so many people just automatically buy products without even thinking about it, and it’s beyond easy to make 5-6 figures with a good information product.

Then I started thinking…

How Can I Feel Good In A Market That Disgusts Me So Much?

My first thought was, “I know I can still help people with some of my products.  How can I do it from a heart-centered place? Or do I even WANT to?”

The first thing I thought of was to do more webinars and teleseminars so I could follow up with people to ensure their success. After thinking about that though, I realized I really don’t want to tie myself down to any weekly commitments.

Then I started thinking… why do I make products in the make-money niche?

I had a few answers:

• Good money
• Helping people
• I love when people tell me they quit their jobs
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And I asked, why do I hate the make-money niche?

• Feels sleazy often
• Many people hand me money they need in order to get something they’ll never use
• I would hate if someone I just met were to Google me and see long-form sales letters that just scream of “Scam” (even though they’re not.)
• Making money is important when you’re in survival mode, sure… but it’s not that big of a deal once you’re “comfortable”. There are a lot more important (in my mind) things that could be done to help the world – such as having people do nice things for others, inspiring people to push themselves, and really pushing their SPIRIT.
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I also realized I usually put out the make-money products when I’m in survival mode (bank account getting low, want to pay for something, whatever). Sure, I could do the offline tactics that I teach, and they work – but internet marketing is pushbutton. Put out a product, put a price tag on it, send it to the list, and bam – tons of instant money.

Again I want to be clear here that I NEVER put out crap and really worked hard to ensure quality – but still – the point is, it wasn’t coming from a super-heart-centered place, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise.

So if I ever do internet marketing again…

Here’s My Commitment To You:

I don’t even know if I will make a “make-money” product ever again.

If I do, though, it will be different.

Every product I have will have an application process with a few questions people need to answer in order to get the product. I feel this step alone will knock off 50% of people who just buy on autopilot without even thinking about what they’re doing.

If my assistant and I approve the application, I will give access to the product for free and then the customer will pay what they feel it’s worth.

If they pay nothing, it means they never went through the product. That bans them for life on all my other products.

I may also allow people to do nice things for other people as payment.

This makes me a lot happier to do internet marketing products, *IF* I ever do them, because I work with only qualified people and will only hear from those who are actually going to do something with the information I teach.

I want to mention 2 things with this:

1. Nobody has this model yet. I may continue to recommend other people’s products that ask for a set price, and they will only be products I have used and 100% believe in. I will find these ON MY OWN, so marketers… please don’t send me joint venture requests any more.

2. I have already committed to an event series with several marketers to give in-person conferences. I will continue to do that, and those conferences will have a set price. I am continuing to do this because:

a) I already committed to it
b) The price is very inexpensive compared to the value
c) I will speak about outsourcing, which is something that I could believe in, since I know outsourcing gives people the power to live a more fun-filled life. It’s just not just about make-money rubbish.

I am also not sure if I plan on changing my old products out or not. As I think about it I will continue to keep the old prices up. Most of them are with partners and I don’t want to shove this down other people’s throats.

That being said, I don’t think I’ll be doing a lot of marketing any more. It’s just not that stellar to me.

My True Goal Is This:

I want to get 5,000 people (short-term) to post on my blog with something nice they did for the world.

THAT is something that gets me jazzed and pumped. It comes from my heart and aligns with the exercise.

For the next few weeks I need to focus full time on a specific short term goal I have, and when I’m done, I’ll be doing a ton of work on this blog.

I want to get it redesigned and have it tracking people who do nice things. There will be prize giveaways and other awesome motivations, and I’m super-excited to get those rolling out.

I feel it’s high-time I started doing what my heart and spirit want again, and NOT what my bank account feels good about.

While at Eben Pagan and Wyatt Woodsmall’s Personality Patterns seminar this week, I learned a PHENOMENAL exercise for learning a LOT about yourself.

It takes 5 minutes, is incredibly powerful, and will give you a tremendous amount of insight about yourself.

This changed my entire life (look for a follow up blog post shortly).

I’ll tell you exactly how to use this AFTER you do it, so for now, JUST DO IT.  Again – it only takes 5 minutes.

Step 1:

List out 3 people you really admire for one reason another. They can be living or dead, and you may only admire them for one specific reason (i.e. maybe you don’t love all of them, but you really admire one specific element about them).

List out a one-word reason (or reasons) on why you admire them so much, and you MUST do 3.

Step 2:

List out 3 people you despise. If you can’t think of anyone you despise, then anyone that brings up a negative feeling in you, or bad emotions. Again you don’t need to despise ALL of them – there just needs to be one part of them that you really, really don’t like.

Same deal – list out a one-word reason (or reasons) on why you despise them so much, and you MUST do 3.

Step 3:

Post your answers here on the blog. I will tell you what to do with them after you post them.

If you don’t want to give full names, then give initials or something.

I’ll post my answers in a follow-up blog post.