I randomly came across the “Record” button in Viddler, so I made a video!
This one’s about my recent Reiki training. I know Reiki isn’t the most “widespread” type thing, but… guess I just don’t care. 
The video’s not the best quality – not sure why – but it’s good enough, I think, so here it is:
My father used to have a bumper sticker in the garage that said, “The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.”
This seems to be my life story – especially as of late. The more I grow, the more I realize I have SO MUCH MORE to learn.
It’s really hard for me to come to terms with this! I’ve always had the attitude that I’d like to work super-hard at first, get to desired solution, and then sit back. With growth though, it just doesn’t happen that way. It’s never-ending.
I met a guy I really, really respect back in June. He’s super-successful and full of amazing advice. I thought he was absolutely brilliant, wise, enlightened… and then I talked to his wife.
She was madly in love with him, which I expected… but she also told me some not-so-stellar things about him. Things that revealed a lack of confidence, insecurity, etc…
It left me feeling so unsettled!
I know nobody’s “perfect”, but it’s almost like… like, I’ll continue to do this growing… and there will never be a “stop” point. There will always be something I need to work through.
I mean, I could sit back and be happy with where I’ve come in a few short years – I used to tear up (even in casual, party-type situations) whenever I had to talk with two or more people at once. I felt so unworthy of attention. One-on-one I was awesome, but forget about more than that. I used to be ridiculously judgmental and used my book smarts as a shield to hide my insecurities. The list goes on and on…
But now that I’ve gotten past that, there’s whole new levels of things to go through – such as why I’m so picky, why I place my worth on some really foolish things, and so forth.
And I totally understand the benefits of continuing to grow – you raise your vibrations, you attract higher quality people, you can serve more people, etc…
But it’s still hard to come to terms with the fact that there’s no “end goal” (unless you count enlightenment).
I recently did an exercise with a good friend that I really trust. We’re both incredibly into development, so this was a super-fun exercise for both of us. We filled out categories about each other and then about ourselves. We promised each other that we’d be extremely vulnerable, and figured we’d have an average of 1-2 paragraphs for each section.
Here were the categories we used:
Business
Friend Relationships
Love Relationships
Self confidence
Goals in life
Direction
Self awareness
Emotional Life (how in touch with emotions you are)
Character
Spiritual Life
Quality Of Life
Top 5 Challenges
Top 5 Strengths
The exercise was unbelievable. My head’s still going into overdrive – both with the results he gave me (which were incredible, and it’s great to get someone else’s view – especially if that someone is empathetic and intelligent enough to not only see/feel things and put himself in my position, but to articulate them), but with what I ended up writing out about myself.
I realized that I have way more to get through than I ever thought, especially confidence-wise… but I also was given new focus, and understood a lot more. Coupled with some recent feedback I got from someone I met on a message board, and… wow.
The results are going to dramatically improve who I am, my relationships, and my business… which in turn will help me serve others more.
I highly recommend doing this exercise with someone you trust. I’ve read a million books, sites, etc… but very little (the only thing that comes to mind is Warrior Camp) has given me such concrete, power-packed information like this.
One of my favorite people, Tajwar Alexander, just sent me an awesome quote that I felt compelled to share.
It doesn’t matter who your “God” is, it’s the message:
The Final Analysis
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;…
Forgive them anyway!
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior
motives;…
Be kind anyway!
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true
enemies;…
Succeed anyway!
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;…
Be honest and frank anyway!
What you spend years building, someone could destroy
overnight;…
Build anyway!
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;…
Be happy anyway!
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;…
Do good anyway!
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be
enough;…
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway!
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them… anyway.
To start off with, I don’t believe in religion (for many reasons). That being said, I find that many religious people are really amazing, good-hearted people so I went to the first church service of my life today to observe what goes on there. Before I go on, I’m going to note a few things:
1. To be honest, I really don’t care if I offend you. Not trying to be rude, but I find that most people get up in arms about things they’re not secure about. There’s many people who don’t believe in what I believe in as far as spirituality, spirit guides, etc… and it doesn’t faze me one way or the other. I know it’s my truth and that’s all that matters.
2. I went into this as unbiased as I possibly could be. If anything, I was hoping to walk out with a deeper respect of religion.
3. Any opinion that I give here is based on my experiences with THIS church – just the first one I found when I did a Google search. I can’t possibly make decisions on an entire religion based off of one experience… this is just what I found tonight.
4. For what it’s worth, I’m technically Jewish. I was bat mitzvahed, can read and write Hebrew, and used to know Hebrew and Arabic fluently. Like I said, I don’t believe in religion and don’t consider myself Jewish… but I have gone to synagogue before, although I really don’t remember anything about it except for trying to sneak out of the room and go downstairs to play with the toys. That being said…
I went into church today thinking I’d just sneak in and listen to the sermon. When I got in there, a guy asked me to fill out a postcard about how I found the church, write down my address, etc. He also gave me a pen and a mug filled with candy. He got another lady to come over and talk to me. I told her that I was leaving for Europe soon and that I just wanted to experience the church. She told me I could find missionaries in any country from this particular church, just in case I had a stellar time tonight.
When I went to sit down, she asked if I wanted to be alone or if she could sit with me. It didn’t matter to me… and I was kind of glad that she ended up sitting with me anyway, because I saw she was taking notes which in turn made me feel comfortable taking my own (I carry a pen and paper everywhere I go… I even take notes during tours. I’m a nerd.). The lady introduced me to her daughter (who was maybe late 30’s, early 40’s?). The daughter asked me if I was “searching for Jesus”, and I told her the truth – that I’m very spiritual on my own accord, but I do think many religious people are amazing and I wanted to observe. She told me that was a “cute” response. When the service started, one of the first things I noticed was that the pastor told everyone to walk around and shake hands with each other.
…when I saw everyone going all over the place:
1. My initial thought was that it was a good mind-control tactic (I’m just being honest). I know they do this kind of stuff at seminars as an icebreaker to warm up the room/get people comfortable (not saying it’s a mind control tactic there, but can absolutely be used as one).
2. I noticed that the people shaking hands – all of them – had huge smiles on their faces and looked genuinely happy. I thought that was really awesome. Again, even if I don’t believe in religion, as long as there’s a good message, I’m a supporter. Then we got into the sermon. That’s when I heard some really fascinating things. To begin with, the service was all about “How To Break A Bad Habit”. The first thing the pastor mentioned was that “Some of the worst Christians do…”
I thought that was really interesting. I don’t know, I guess I assumed there wasn’t such a thing as “worst Christian” and that everyone was loved equally (I’m not trying to be sarcastic here, it truly did take me aback).
(In retrospect, now that I think of some of the anti-religion campaigns, I don’t know why it surprised me so much… I mean, that’s what people complain about with gay issues, right? I’m not trying to be biased here, but the facts are the facts… hardcore religious people do think being gay is wrong.)
The pastor then started talking about how once people accept Christ, then the Holy Spirit will come into them. He talked about how people won’t experience convulsions or anything like that… but as soon as they accept Christ, the spirit activates. (At this point, one guy kept saying “Right!” “Right!” “Right!” to everything. He was the only one though, and the pastor noted that the crowd was unusually quiet tonight.) He then started saying that people don’t need anything external in order to live by Christ – it lives inside themselves – but Jesus is there to help if you ask him for it. He said if you want him to control you, he’ll do that too.
Personally, I don’t think anyone needs to accept anything to have their spirit “activate”. I think it’s there all along. I’ve never accepted Jesus and really only prayed to God for most of my life for “insurance” purposes because I wasn’t sure of his existence. (I now believe , but that’s neither here nor there). I agree that once people make certain choices, it’ll be easier to stay connected to their spirit… but I don’t think you need to accept Jesus to have that happen. The pastor then started talking about…
…and how some people have perversed Christianity. He says Church TV gets crazier and crazier by the minute, because people need to “fill the flesh”. The example he gave was of Jewish people. He said that the Jews needed to feel God on an emotional level and constantly be told of miracles so they could believe. Apparently when Jesus was feeding them, they kept following him. The minute Jesus stopped feeding them, they no longer believed because they didn’t have any substantial proof to go by. The pastor said that Christians need to feel based on logic, not emotion. They should just KNOW. (Later on though, in one of the times he contradicted himself, he said: “I bet some of you were torn about if you should come here or watch the Eagles game tonight” and paused, as if it was an awful thing.
I guess my question there is… if people are supposed to just KNOW within themselves, and the spirit can activate for them once they accept Jesus… what’s the problem with catching a game? I guess this was another example of being a “bad Christian”… that you should pray regularly, even if something you’re a fan of is on TV. I know that comes across as sarcastic, but I don’t mean for it to.) The pastor started talking about Joel Osteen. He said, “This guy has the biggest church in the country. I started to watch him but couldn’t go for any longer than 5 minutes because I didn’t want my kids to hear.” He said it was just like Church TV, with a guy sitting on a ledge playing guitar, and how “un-churchlike” it all was. (That being said, maybe other churches would make me have a different opinion… I don’t know.) After that, he started talking about giving thanks. He said not to just give thanks for the good things, because
Good Christians, he said, should make sure to give thanks for everything, because God knows what he’s doing and why he’s teaching it to you. THIS was the kind of thing I was hoping to hear more of when I came to church. That’s something I wholeheartedly agree on. I heard an Esther and Jerry Hicks cd once, and Esther was saying that if you go to a hotel and there’s a hole in the carpet on the floor, you have two choices. You can fixate on the hole or you can be thankful that you have shelter for the night. It was a visual statement (I could picture a hole in a carpet) and it stuck with me. I really liked that message and live the majority of my life trying to think that way – finding the positives in everything. Unfortunately, that was the only time during church that the pastor said something I agreed with. After that, he mentioned….
The service ended shortly after that. The lady I was sitting next to started talking to me more and started getting deep into religion. I was really grateful to listen to her because admittedly, I don’t know that much about it. We talked for about 5 good minutes, and then she said “I know it’s hard for you, being brought up Jewish, to accept Jesus as your savior, but…” I told her that I appreciated the positive messages that I thought he gave either way, and that whether or not I believed in Jesus, I had utmost appreciation for the teachings. Apparently that wasn’t a good answer, because she cut the conversation short and said she’d pray for me while I was in Europe because I’m a beautiful girl and it’s a dangerous world out there. So…
Like I said at the beginning, I was hoping to find more of a connection to church. I knew I didn’t believe in religion and didn’t expect to love it either way… but I wanted more insight into what goes on in the spare time of so many phenomenal people. I thought the church would teach the same messages I believe in, except in a different way. I didn’t walk out with that, but I do believe other churches might be different. I do, however, think that other churches are the same as far as “Good Christian/Bad Christian”, and I staunchly disagree with that. Personally, I have love for EVERYONE, regardless of their decisions. I believe everyone does the best they can with what they’ve been given. Does it mean I want to be friends with certain people? No way. Lie to me once and I usually won’t talk to you again. I have strict standards as far as who I become close with. It doesn’t mean I dislike someone, though… just that they’re not right to be in my space.
I really do like how the church had so many happy people. Even if people criticize them as being “brainwashed”… hey, as long as you’re happy, who cares if you’re brainwashed. I guess I was also interested in religion because in “The Paradox Of Choice” (great book!), the author says the happiest people in the world are those who are religious, married, and/or have really good friends (think I blogged about this before) because they don’t have as many choices. A lot of their world is decided for them, so they don’t have as much to be overwhelmed by. I can see why people would be happy at church. So much is laid out for them… they have likeminded friends… etc… but I’m still not a fan. Overall, I walked out not only still not believing in religion, but maybe even having a slight dislike for it. I’ll continue to live each day, day by day, on my own terms. I’m glad for the experience though and plan on reading the Bible soon, just to learn more.
When my good friend Chad emailed me to tell me one thing, and I ended up attacking him with a zillion questions about free will in response – I realized this is something I’d really love to hear more people’s thoughts about. This is incredibly fascinating to me (as I would think it would be to anyone).
What do you think about free will?
Do you think we have it, or that everything’s planned out? Or maybe a combination (the bigger picture is planned out, we have control over the small stuff)?
I found this interesting video for those of you who aren’t into metaphysical stuff…And this page is what got me thinking about it in the first place.
I do have some opinions, but I feel like posting them wouldn’t be beneficial for 3 reasons:
1. I don’t want them to affect your answer (and they’re still opinions, anyway).
2. I’m not quite sure if I’m comfortable posting my experiences here yet.
3. The people from which I based some of them might delude how they’re perceived.
Would really, really, REALLY love to hear your thoughts about this.
So it’s now Day 2 in Portland and I’m really enjoying it.Before I get to that though (which’ll probably be another post), I’ve been meaning to journal about the drive up.
(The post is kind of long, so I’m going to be writing it in copywriting-style. I’d be curious to hear if that somehow takes away from it’s authenticity for you.)
Okay, so…
The actual drive was really interesting. As I was listening to some of the songs on my iPod, they had a completely different meaning to me than they did when I took my other road trip exactly one year ago. I never would’ve anticipated that, but it was an awesome feeling. I grew a lot this year.
I got a speeding ticket on the way over. I’ve gotten out of like… 12 or so tickets, so I guess it was time to pay my dues. The weird thing is, we were having conversation before he even gave me the ticket. He was asking me about the states I visited, what I do with Internet Marketing, etc. Usually those conversations mean I get out of tickets, but I think he already committed to giving me one this time (he might have called for backup too – he thought I was transporting drugs at first) and had caught me on radar. Oh well. 
So anyway, I was driving to…
As I mentioned on Twitter, I got an incredible sublet here in Portland. I got REALLY lucky, because the lady who owns this apartment had pretty much convinced herself she wasn’t going to be subletting. She interviewed 6 people via phone before me, and she couldn’t get a good gut feeling about any of them. She’s very into energy and was super-adamant about only letting someone she felt good about sleep in her bed. It was awesome, because she used the money I paid her to fund a trip to Hawaii. She kept saying “I can’t believe I’m really going!” and now when I talk to her, she says “I still can’t believe I’m really here!”
Anyway – she’s really, really cool. She was talking about moving stuff out of her closet for me, taking down spiritual messages from her wall, etc. to make me feel comfortable… I told her a) I’m happy to see spiritual messages! and b) I’m only here for 2 weeks, there’s no need for her to do any of that. It’s her home.
The sublet’s in the heart of SE Portland and right near a lot of incredible things. It’s a great location.So I tell you all of this because…
I talked with a hotel owner the day before I got here. I was telling him about the sublet owner, and he said “I guess there are some good people left in this world.”!?
That blew my mind.
He really meant it.
I don’t know… I just feel like… I think everyone I meet is a “good person”. Sure, there’s lots of flakes in L.A., but they’re still good people. And that’s not the whole “positive thinking” thing… it’s a fact. I’ve traveled cross country a few times, as you probably know – hit 40 states so far – and I’ve been positively surrounded by “good people”. What a self-limiting thought to really believe the majority of people aren’t “good”.
Now, trust me here…
…and I try to stay as grounded as possible. Sure, I journal about things I’m grateful for. I try to see positives in everything and am 100% confident that everything happens for our highest good. HOWEVER, I think those books delude a lot of people for 2 reasons:
1) People separate themselves from reality with all the “I KNOW it’s going to work out!” stuff. Sure – positive thinking’s awesome and I strongly believe you shouldn’t let obstacles stop you… but you have to do the WORK to get out of obstacles. I think a lot of people stop at thinking positive and then wonder why it doesn’t work out.I was reading Life’s Golden Ticket by Brandon Burchard. It’s a cool book where a guy goes through a spiritual journey, and you can kind of identify your own progress via him. There’s one point where the main character sees a montage of scenes in his life, and he’s doing a lot of things he doesn’t like. He screams, “That’s not me! I’m not that person!”
His “guru”, I guess, for the sake of your understanding, replied, “That’s psychobabble bullshit.” His point was that it IS him. If he wanted to change those aspects of himself, so be it… but he had to first understand them and acknowledge them.Most people don’t do that.And the other reason I don’t like those books, is…
2) “We must truly know the darkness before we can truly see the light.”
Jaime really helped me understand this. Before I moved to L.A., I intellectualized everything. I didn’t allow myself to feel pain, or anything sad really, because I figured it was a waste of time. I didn’t allow myself to listen to sad or negative songs, and surrounded myself with all things positive.
In retrospect, I think that’s delusional. Not only is it delusional, but it’s an absolute crime. After growing more and allowing myself to get pissed off, upset, etc. about things… when I feel bliss, it feels 10x more real than anything I ever experienced before.I just think most people don’t allow themselves to open themselves up that, especially with the whole “think positive! just think positive!” movement.
Now, I’m not saying they’re poorly intentioned. Sometimes you have to deliver messages in increments. For example, with yayFOOD, I tell people about calorie cycling. I don’t tell them about eating healthy or anything – if they ask, I’ll tell them – but for now, the first step is just for them to learn about the calorie cycling. People can’t feel overwhelmed. I get it.But still…having zillions of those ‘think positive’ books on the market, in my opinion, isn’t doing people as much good as they think.
So anyway,
Despite the opinions I just expressed, I still think it’s crazy to feel like most people aren’t good people.I was actually talking to Justin Zimmerman about this yesterday. Like I said, I’ve traveled a lot. I can immediately reference tons of amazing people that I’ve met. I remember meeting a guy at a coffee shop in Seattle who took an entire day off to show me around. Or the guys I met at Laguna Beach who made me sleep over (there were locks on my door ) so I wouldn’t sleep in my car. Or even the lady who owns this sublet – she made me a zillion maps and notes and everything to make sure I had the best time possible.To feel like the majority of people aren’t “good”… I don’t know, it just really got me thinking a lot.
There’s a lot more I could blog about, but I feel like I should end it here. I’ll have to write more soon, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on the copywriting style, the “good people” comment, the positive thinking movement, and whatever else.
Do you enjoy this blog? If so, feel free to send me a veggie
juice (I don't drink coffee or beer :)).
