Corny Jokes

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shareasimage(11)…make me so happy ;)

Hopefully they make YOU smile too. Here are some super-good ones:

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
Because they kept saying Bach, Bach, Bach!

Two silk worms were in a race. What was the result?
A tie!

Hehehe…

How do you stop a charging rhinoceros?
Take away his credit card. ;)

What did the angry customer at the Italian restaurant give the chef?
A pizza his mind!

They only get better!…

Why do flourescent lights always hum?
Because they don’t know the words.

Why did the man run around his bed?
Because he wanted to catch up on his sleep!

Where do tough chickens come from?
Hard boiled eggs!

This is seriously my favorite blog post ever…

Why did the house go to the doctor?
It had window pane!

Why can’t a man living in the U.S. be buried in Canada?
Because he’s still alive!

How do you fix a broken tomato?
With tomato paste!

What did one campfire say to the other?
Shall we go out one of these nights?

What happened when man invented the wheel?
A big revolution took place.

And with that, I’m going to bed with a huge smile on my face. ;)

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0 thoughts on “Corny Jokes”

  1. Hi, I’ve truly stopped at your web site lots of occasions. I found out about it because of my lady. I made a decision to put up a comment. My family and I love humor; for that reason I thought of sharing a good laugh with you not to mention your visitors. What is foreplay? The loving before the shoving. The petting before the getting. The licking before the pricking. The stroking before the poking. The lingering and the fingering. Unnecessary with barn animals.

  2. Q: did you read the book “Rusty Bed-springs by I.P. Knightly

    Q: Did you hear about the hunger strikers who wanted to use the phone?
    A: first one dialled eight nothing – eight nothing – eight nothing – eight nothing – eight nothing one
    (80-80-80-80-80-1)….and the second hunger striker dialled…eight nothing – eight nothing – eight nothing – eight nothing – eight nothing two (80-80-80-80-80-2)

  3. Q: if i’ve got a moth-ball in one hand and a moth-ball in the other…what have I got?
    A: a damned big moth

    Q: what do you get when you cross an orange with a mouse?
    A: a Pip-squeak!!!

    Q: Did you here about the Irishman who got a job sweeping leaves in a park?
    A: He broke his arm after falling out of a tree

  4. Q: what do you call a fly with no wings?
    A: a Walk

    Q: where do baked beans go for holidays
    A: Cairns (pronounced cans in Australia)

    Q: what do you call a dog with no legs
    A: you could call it anything you like..it wouldn’t come to you anyway..boom boom!

    1. Q: what is a specimen?
      A: an Italian astronaut

      Q: what do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
      A: a “wooly jumper”.

      Q: why did the french rifleman jump out of an aeroplane?
      A: because he was a Paris-shootist

    1. Q: why did the monkey put an egg on his head?
      A: because he wanted to be a g_riller…lol

      Q: why did the cane-toad cross the road?
      A: to see his flat-mate…boom boom!!!

      Q: what do you call a man with no arms and legs in a swimming pool?
      A: Bob..get it?

  5. heres one of my favorites..

    how does a baby tomato sneeze.?
    – ketchup ketchup ketchup..

    haha gets me every time..

  6. Those are pretty good, here is one I came up with a while back.

    Why is water the most troublesome element?

    (because its always making waves 8o) )

  7. haha so funny.

    heres one i told once.

    a friend askes me…
    are you being serious or sarcastic

    i replied.
    ill give you a hint it starts with an s

  8. I love the Bach Bach Bach one. That’s the cutest. Unexpected too. :-)

    Here’s mine:

    Say this out loud:

    Knock Knock

    :::your turn:::

    Smell Mop

    :::your turn:::

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