I was invited to go for a hike and then to the hot springs last Sunday.
I was very excited about the hike part, but not about the hot springs. I didn’t want to wear a bathing suit.
(If you haven’t read, I’ve gained a lot of weight since eating meat. And I am FINALLY OK with it… so much so that I’m a little embarrassed to recount this story, but feel called to, so I am.)
Here’s what happened:
I am very aware that everything I say comes true. The power of our subconscious is HUGE.
When I was younger, if I ever tried to get out of going to school by saying I was sick, I’d get sick. Even if I was totally healthy before.
When I was working as a cashier in high school I wanted to call out of work. I knew that I’d get sick if I told them that, so I decided to go a different route. I had my stepfather name a random car part. He told me “catalytic converter”, so I called and said my catalytic converter broke.
The next week… boom, my catalytic converter went out.
I’d never even heard of that before.
So while I know lying isn’t that great anyway, this fast manifestation stuff ensures I generally don’t do it.
But I was so worked up about the stupid bathing suit that Saturday night I told Otto I was sick. I figured I’d get myself sick real quick so I could avoid having to go on the hike the next day.
(I am not proud of this.)
I felt very bad for lying, and so in the morning, the first thing I did was wake Otto up and (tearfully) confess. I hate lying and feel bad that I did it. It’s amazing how much emotion and power I had been giving to this weight gain.
After I confessed I realized I was being ridiculous and I went on the hike. I had an AWESOME time. In fact, I think it “clicked” me back. I’d been having a not-stellar few months, and after the hike I feel like I got “me” back. No more cranky, miserable Rachel, thank you. :)
But I guess I’d already set the process in motion for getting sick, because on Monday, boom… runny nose, sore throat, laid around for 3 days because I couldn’t work up any motivation to get out and go to the cafe.
(As a side note, it was kind of nice to be lazy. I drew, journaled, and drank lots of tea.)
Last night I was sicker than any other day.
I was sick of feeling yucky, so I decided I was finished.
Before I went to bed, I told my mind that I wanted to wake up feeling good, with enough motivation to go to the cafe, no more runny nose and no more sore throat.
I still have a slight runny nose (much less than yesterday), woke up with no sore throat, and am at a cafe right now. Motivation is running through my veins.
It’s fascinating how much power we have over our minds.
And to make myself feel better about the fact that I’ve been so whiny about my weight… I’d like to mention I’ve made tremendous strides to stop being so upset. :D
I bought a pair of jeans yesterday in a new size. I was resisting buying new clothes because I didn’t want to admit defeat, that this size is the new size I’d be…
But I decided yesterday that I’d feel better if I wore something that fit well and made me feel good.
So I got a new pair of jeans in a size that would’ve been unthinkable for me in the past.
And I am OK with it.
So I am moving forward, and definitely using the “power of my mind” to make magic happen.
Next up… changing the world. :)
0 thoughts on “This made me SICK.”
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