Disclaimer up front: Because I now have almost 100 providers depending on me for work with Burn Your To Do List, it crossed my mind for a few seconds that maybe I shouldn’t post such opinionated stuff on my blog.
Like I said, the thought only lasted a few seconds. I’m not going to silence myself on things I feel strongly about – that’s just foolish. If, at the end of this post, you are a client or potential client and strongly oppose my thoughts, then feel free to either cancel service or not sign up. To put it bluntly: don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.
I definitely want to make sure my providers have work, and I actively work on that, but I also don’t want them to deal with bigots.
They tend to make for crap clients anyway.
(Definition of bigot: a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.)
With that out of the way…
A big part of me is really excited to get married and have children. I really think I’d be a great mother, and it’s so easy to get lost in ideas on how I want to raise my children. I can’t wait to take them around the world so that they can actually SEE and EXPERIENCE in person what so many politically agenda’d textbooks teach them. I’m excited to help my future children stay heart-centered, empathetic, and understanding.
(Side note: I LOVE Mark Twain’s quote: “Travel is fatal to prejudice.”)
Up until recently it was easy to get lost in thoughts about marriage too. Jaime and I long fantasized about having a double-wedding, which would be so fun. I’ve also thought about doing fun things at my wedding – having cotton candy machines, maybe having a little carnival… just non-stuffy, fun stuff.
(I do realize this entire blog post is premature as I don’t even have a boyfriend right now ;) – but based on a bunch of factors, I’m very confident I could get married pretty soon if I really wanted to. That’s not to sound arrogant – like I said, I base that on conversations, experiences, and other factors.)
So like I said, I had been excited about marriage… until recently. I’m not so sure I want to get married any more. I’m happy to accept a proposal, commit to someone, etc… but I don’t really think, in good conscience, that I can get married.
I recently saw an interview with Sarah Silverman on same-sex marriages that really challenged my thinking. In the interview, she said that a straight couple getting married in our current state of affairs is like being part of an exclusive country club where blacks and Jews aren’t allowed. I’ve got to say, I totally agree with her.
I think the fact that same sex marriages are STILL outlawed is truly vile. It’s just… archaic. How, in this day and age, can so many people (in fact the MAJORITY of people, if voting statistics are not politically manipulated) perpetuate themselves to be better than others? How can we, as a country, say that some people deserve to be married and others don’t? That one type of person is more “right” at existence than another? It’s absolutely disgusting.
Outlawing same sex marriage is judging other people and saying “We’re better than you.” It doesn’t matter what the rationale is – religious beliefs, upbringing, bad experiences, whatever… at the end of the day, being homophobic or not tolerant of other people is not having an empathetic and open-hearted view of your fellow human being.
There are many people that I really love in this world that are gay. I think I would feel crappy and guilty about perpetuating such shit rules if I were to get married. I can only imagine the hurt/sadness/shame/guilt that so many gay people probably feel when people get married. I bet for many, it stings every time they hear about marriage – even if it’s unconscious.
Thinking about this makes me think about a whole bunch of different things, too:
First off, why do I want to get married, anyway? Is it based on a scarcity mindset? Do I feel like I need someone to commit to me in order to feel truly loved? And if that’s the case, why would that be?
If I say I believe the world is abundant enough that I could attract several stellar people to marry if I wanted to, then it shouldn’t matter if one guy I love wants to commit to me or not. I could find someone else.
Then I think, is it because of tradition? Look how far tradition has gotten us – filling our gullets with crap food, Americans watching an average of 28 hours of TV per week, blindly following what the media says, etc…
Of course there are fantastic traditions too – ones I really adore, like the whole “Christmas spirit” where everyone in the world seems so happy… so it’s not to say all traditions are negative… but my point is, I want to evaluate things on an individual basis and not just welcome anything that comes into my life because it’s just what people “do”.
When I think about gay marriage, I also think about something my friend made a point about once.
(Note to friend: I’m pretty sure you didn’t want your name attached to this – if I’m wrong or you’ve changed your mind, I’m happy to give you credit.)
He mentioned that he doesn’t like to support those marathons for cancer because from a universal standpoint, focusing on cancer can only bring about more of it. (I personally think it’s a moot point since it has been proven time and time again that a healthful diet can fix a slew of health problems, including cancer).
I digress though. By focusing on the idiocy of outlawing gay marriage – even for a short while – I wonder what, if any, universal implications there are.
I really dislike what has become identified with the phrase “Law of Attraction”, but I absolutely believe that each individual, as well as everyone in a collective consciousness, shape our destinies. I know we bring into our lives what we focus on.
On the same note though, blindly accepting this injustice seems stupid too. If we followed that mindset, there would still be slavery.
I’m not sure on that point, but welcome any thoughts/comments.
The one thing I’m positive of is that at the end of the day, people just want to be loved. To tell some people they’re not as worthy of that is appalling, idiotic, stupid, intolerant, unfair, and ridiculous.
I need to get back into work, so I’ll end here… maybe edit and add more later… but those are my thoughts for the time being. :)